Feb 26 2009
Wisdom Of My Father
As I get older, I’d like to think I am actually getting smarter, but sometimes I just wonder. One thing about age: Each year I appreciate more and more the wisdom imparted by my father over the years (my mom also gave me incredible advice, but my "papa’s" counsel was just a bit more trenchant and passionately delivered).
Now, just because it was wisdom does not mean I had the good sense to listen to or follow what my father advised. At least half the time while growing up I was either too stupid or too proud to give his words the hearing they deserved. But, 12 years after papa’s death, I remember his words of wisdom and advice very clearly. I share some of them with you now:
- What really matters is originality. Original thinking is what truly stands out in the world. Oh was he right on this one. To this day, I look for the originality in everything, from the work of my firm THUNDER FACTORY, to the restaurants I patronize and culture I consume. Original ideas really matter to me.
- You are too in love with your words. To be a great writer, you need to be a ruthless editor of your own words. They are not your babies. My father was a great writer, and thinker. He reminded me often of the importance of being a ruthless editor, especially of your own work. Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog knows that I usually don’t follow this sage advice from my father (to the great detriment of my writing), but I truly cherish it.
- A famous writer once wrote to a friend, " I am sorry for the long letter. I did not have the time to write you a short one." (See the above wisdom about ruthless editing.) I always loved this quote from my papa. He was a big believer in succinctness and clarity in writing. Of course, in speaking, he used to love to go on and on. Alas, we all have our vices!
- Patrick, when you see "The Battleship Potemkin," then you can talk to me about movies. Again, originality was of fundamental importance to my father. This classic movie by the renowned Russian film-maker Sergei Eisenstein, set the stage for so many of the great films of the 20th Century. Years later, I saw the "Potemkin" in a film class at university, and finally understood what my father was talking about.
- The true measure of a civilized society is when a person can build a good career around studying an obscure South American composer or Scandinavian philosopher. The point my father was making here was that true civilizations care about and support scholarship and research, no matter how obscure or off the beaten path. You don’t have to find the cure for cancer to be doing important work for society.
- Contrary to the beliefs of my Russian friends, Mother Russia did not invent everything in the world. But, Italy pretty much did. My father was Italian from the day he was born, to the day he died. Yes, he became an American citizen and was very proud of his new country, but he always had a special place in his heart for Italy. Almost daily he reminded us kids of the great contributions by Italy and Italians in virtually every field of endeavor. Dr. Giovanni Di Chiro’s children all share his immense pride in Italy to this day.
- Until the age of 40, a man believes he is invincible and will live forever. From 40 onward, he becomes obsessed with death. After I blew past 40 a few years ago, this bit of wisdom hit home in a much more personal, poignant way. Suffice it to say, men do focus a lot more on their mortality once the graying of age starts to set in. It’s not that we morbidly focus on death (I certainly don’t), but that familiar devil may care attitude of youth is gone, too.
- Money isn’t everything. A man’s or woman’s salary or position is not the true measure of that person’s worth. My father did not have a materialistic (or financial) bone in his body. Indeed, I don’t think he ever wrote a check in his life, and he never owned a stock or similar investment. Now, that did not make him a saint (or a sinner), but it did remind me that it is so important to keep focused on what really matters in this world. In assessing someone and their contributions, he would emphasize things like what they did for other people every day, the originality and creativity of their ideas and work, and their empathy and actions relative to those who are less well off. I try to remember those values every day, particularly as we all cope with a global financial crisis.


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