I was having a chat recently with a friend of mine and she recounted a story for me that kind of sums up my frustration with how digital communications technology has actually increased the distance between human beings rather than brought us closer together.

My friend said she had a lunch date recently with a "gentleman." (My quotes, not her’s.) He had gone to a lot of trouble to choose a nice place in wine country. They sat down with a pleasant view of the vineyards, and she immediately noticed that he had one of those mobile communications "thingey’s" still lodged in his ear. Not a good sign.

The glasses of Chardonnay and Zin arrived, but the ear thingey was still there. Then came the salad course, and the listening device was was still hooked to the guy’s ear, noticeable as the nose on his face. At this point in the lunch my friend was a bit annoyed (quite justifiably, I might add). She asked him, "I was just wondering, were you planning to keep that ear thingey there for the entire meal?"

He answered, "Of course. I have teenagers, and you have to stay connected to them at all times because you never know what might happen."

My friend’s heart sank. At that moment, she said she disconnected from what had been a pleasant conversation on a promising first date. She vowed then and there that this would be their last.

The dude thought lunch had gone very well. He was totally clueless about his breach of "dating etiquette" (I use the quotes because some would claim that using the word "dating" and "etiquette" in the same sentence these days is a contradiction in terms).

This is a classic example of the growing, and in my view, nasty phenomenon of how digital communications are actually creating great social dislocation in our modern society. You have no doubt seen the young people walking down the street, texting each other instead of actually talking. How many times have you nearly run into someone who was rushing along, looking at her/his cell phone and not looking up? Don’t know about you, but that kind of drives me batty!

Here are my simple wishes relative to our digitally connected world:

• I wish that we would talk more to our family and friends and spend less time obsessively looking at our Blackberries.
• I wish that we would listen more to the singing of the birds and ocean waves crashing rather than being stuck to our iPods.
• I wish we would pick up the phone more often instead of just using impersonal email, or, worse, a text message.
• And, I wish that we would rediscover the real human connectedness that actually makes us more human, rather than living our lives playing with the newest mobile app.

Believe me, I am no Luddite. I don’t know what I would do without my digital devices. But, I also realize there is a time and place for everything. If you’re having lunch with a friend, or colleague, or heaven knows, a first date, put your phone away and look that person in the eye like they are the only other soul in the place.

That is what human connection is really all about.

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