Oh the glory and wonder of cheesy advertising!

I am not talking about just the usual groaners, like TV spots for toilet tissue or even the mini masterpieces from Billy Mays — the OxyClean, MendIt and Big City Sliders pitchman. I am talking high cheese here. The real stinky stuff.

For that you need to turn to Rx advertising, specifically the ads for ED drugs (that is erectile dysfunction to the uninitiated). I blogged a year or so ago that the snappy "Viva Viagra" ads were perhaps the worst and most cringe-worthy advertising I have ever seen. And, I have seen a lot of awful advertising in my time.

But, the ED category is quite competitive in the cheesiest/worst advertising category. Viagra has not yet topped the transcendant dorkiness of the group of "cool" Boomer dudes playing their axes and singing Viva Viagra like it was the best Elvis song ever written (by the way, the guys in that ad look like Travolta and gang from that cheesiest of movies, "Wild Hogs." I am sure you understand that is not a compliment to either production!).

And, Levitra has been pretty quiet of late…but you gotta love the name "Levitra," with that wonderful hint of "levitation" hanging over the brand! Levitate? Erectile dysfunction? Get it?

It is thus up to Cialis to seize the cheesy mantle for 2009. OMG…it absolutely delivers every time, big time. Have you seen the Cialis spots? They are a veritable potpourri of hackneyed, outdated and delightfully bad advertising cliches. I have never been able to figure out why marketers seem to think that insulting your audiences’ intelligence and imaginations is a good communications strategy. But, it’s all there writ very large in the Cialis spots.

Where does one begin? The Cialis "Signature": The spots feature the guy and gal in their his and her bath tubs. You know, those old fashioned "claw foot" tubs, which are now a key part of the Cialis brand. The image of the two lovers in their personal old timey tubs is now central to the Cialis corporate identity and even the logo (shouldn’t they actually be in the same tub? We are talking about sex here, right?).

I also love how the campaign hits every ethnic group — from the African American couple to the perfectly coiffed and tanned (a rather leathery tan, I might add) white Boomer couple, to the new spots with the Hispanic pair. The only group I have not seen represented in the Cialis campaign are Asians. Now, why is that? Is ED  not a big problem in that community?

The Cialis spots also have that wonderful voiceover talent James Naughton (the former Broadway star) reading the laughably serious copy with his incredible basso profundo voice. The whole thing feels terribly ironic, but you know it’s dead serious. Which makes it even more ironic and ultimately hilarious, in a creepy sort of way.

The Cialis ads would not make the grade for cheesiest spots if they didn’t include the ED money line: "If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention." I remember when those spots first aired, the comics had a field day with that line. They noted quite correctly that the prospect of the "four hours" was exactly why dudes bought the drugs in the first place. Actually, I was dating a doctor at the time and she told me some pretty gruesome stories of what they really have to do with gents who come in to the emergency room with that 4-hour problem. Nuff said on that one!

Perhaps I am totally missing the point on the Cialis advertising. Maybe I am being too literal in my interpretation and criticism. Clearly, the ads seem to be working, as they keep running them (the fact that I see the Cialis ads all the time unfortunately brands me as part of the target demographic…what can I say, I do watch the evening national news programs, and I am a Boomer).

Forget Saturday Night Live. If you want a good laugh, check out the Cialis ads on any of the weekend evening network news programs. They won’t disappoint, I promise!

Indeed, when the moment is right for you to watch the cheesiest advertising on record, you will now be ready.

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