If you thought America’s young people these days were wasting too much time on the web (especially spending endless hours playing video games), then you ain’t seen nothing!

In a truly bizarre example of  “only in Japan,” the Wall Street Journal published a story this week on a new trend in that Asian powerhouse country: Young men going to a honeymoon hotel with “virtual girlfriends”!!

Yep, men traveling to a Japanese resort town with virtual girlfriends.

Seems that the old resort town of Atami, Japan has found an innovative way to generate bookings now that the shrinking pool of Japanese honeymooners is traveling to places like Hawaii and Australia’s Gold Coast. Atami’s marketing geniuses tapped into Japan’s obsession with video games and anime cartoons to create a promotion that has attracted several thousand men to flock to the town for a romantic “date” with their video game character girlfriends.

You heard me correctly: Those are video game, virtual girlfriends, on a screen!!  You cannot make this stuff up!

The video game (from a company called Konami) is called “Love-Plus+,” and apparently it is all the rage for love struck Japanese dudes who can’t get a date otherwise (I don’t blame the Japanese gals for not wanting to go out with these guys). The trips to Atami, which apparently can be pricey, aim to recreate the virtual weekend outing featured in the Love-Plus+ video game.

I love this line from the Journal story:

At the real Hotel Ohnoya, which opened its doors in 1937, the staff is trained to check in Love Plus+ customers as couples even if there is only one actual guest. Says Atsurou Ohno, the hotel’s managing director, “We try not to ask too many questions because we want them to be able to remain immersed in that game world.”

A local Korean BBQ restaurant in Atami noted that a quarter of its current customers are now visiting as part of the Love-Plus+ game. The restaurant owner said he is accustomed to making small talk with his customers, but the Love-Plus+ crowd often sits in silence and plays the game while eating (now that is an easygoing date…just a video screen, no disagreeing with me, no ordering the lobster!).

“We’ve been stunned,” Mr. Nagasawa, the restaurant owner, said, “how happy this makes those customers.”

It is now wonder that Japan is literally dying because there are few marriages and almost no new births. The country is so focused on virtual experiences that they are forgetting to do the real thing. I think that is kind of sad…and strange.

Sometimes you have to wonder if our digital revolution has gone too far. Just ask the young guys with their virtual dates in Atami, Japan. They seem to be having a grand old time!

The classic Ridley Scott movie “Blade Runner” was famous for depicting a dystopian vision of our future society (a dreary and rainy LA) that is looking more and more real every day. In fact, that vision looks a lot like the young Japanese guys wasting their lives and money on virtual romantic getaways with virtual girlfriends.

Dude’s, get a life! Before it’s too late!

Poor Burger King. Talk about a snake-bit brand.

The news this week is that the “King” is up for sale again. Private equity firms from NYC to Brazil are circling around Burger King, looking to make another killing by taking the troubled fast food brand private and then reaping the profits when they sell it several years from now.

But, why is Burger King yet again facing the selling block? Why can’t it get its act together when arch competitor McDonald’s saw its revenues and profits grow strongly in the recent quarter? (Needless to say, Burger King’s metrics declined during the same period.)

The answer: marketing. That does not mean the brand’s advertising, which admittedly has been all over the map. It means that the full range of marketing choices and actions by Burger King management have been mostly wrong. Way wrong. (The infamous BK print ad up top is just one example of this.)

But, none of this is new for Burger King. The company is the perennial boom or bust fast food brand because of the inconsistency and frequently head-scratching obtuseness of its marketing strategy.

In explaining Burger King’s recent stumbles that have led to its being put up for sale, analysts have pointed to the chain’s poor menu development, pricing issues, and over emphasis on so called “super fans” (mostly guys 18-34 years old), who were disproportionately hurt by the Great Recession.

All of that is true. But, I would say the biggest marketing mistake that Burger King continually makes is in its overall perception of value. The company just can’t seem to come up with product enhancements and improvements that materially and visibly add to the brand experience…the true value of the company’s offering.

What does that mean? They are not improving the food, they are not adding interesting new menu offerings, they are not really improving the decor or making any changes to the service. Burger King thinks it can just lower prices and run clever and sometimes very odd advertising (like the creeping “King” with the unmovable mask smile), and that will keep business growing nicely.

Well, they have found again — and again — that it does not work out way. You need to constantly improve every aspect of your product and experience. You need to continuously reach out to customers and other stakeholders to find out what they really want (and don’t need) and then respond in kind.

In this high velocity economic and cultural environment, you need to constantly reinvent yourself and find new ways to delight your customers, not just satisfy them.

Burger King never really does that, and that amounts to ineffective marketing.

Burger King doesn’t need a new owner to succeed. The brand needs a true brand steward that will rethink every aspect of the company’s offering, collaborate closely with customers and franchisees (who are critical stakeholders), and totally re-imagine what Burger King is and can be for consumers.

And, while they are at it, they should fire the “King.”

The Wall Street Journal has a story out today that Chrysler Group (owned by Italy’s Fiat) has unveiled its strategy to bring the globally popular Fiat 500 subcompact to the US in January 2011. The company hopes to sell about 50,000 of the cute little 500’s next year.

That should not be a problem. Chrysler/Fiat is pricing the car between BMW’s Mini and Daimler Benz’ SmartCar, which will put the 500 in the $15K-$20K range. That is a sweet spot for an attractive, fuel-efficient little car like this.

Chrysler is now auditioning its dealers to create a 165-strong network to sell the Fiat 500 across the US, starting next year. It is expected that those Fiat dealers will ultimate get a crack at the return of Alfa Romeo in a couple of years (Alfa is also owned by Fiat).

All in all, the Fiat/Chrysler strategy seems to be working out quite nicely so far. That is a big surprise — a pleasant one — for me as I really thought Chrysler was a lost cause in the US. The cars are absolutely the worst available in the US. Jeeps (which are built by Chrysler) are not that much better.

But, Sergio Marchionne, the sweater wearing CEO who reformed Fiat into a world-competitive auto company, had a plan, and he is executing it pretty darned well. Props to Sergio!

The retro Fiat 500 will be an instant hit in the US. It is like a Mini, but cuter and more fun. The car is a wonderful reinterpretation of the classic Fiat 500, which is as Italian as spaghetti and clam sauce.

Welcome back, Fiat! We missed you!

Below is the classic ’60s version of the Fiat 500 (called the Cinquecento in Italian). One of my favorite cars in the world!

Yes, Marmite! It’s that strange, particularly English food stuff (well, I hope it’s food) that you either love…or truly hate. I actually love it!

I remember reading about he cult of Marmite years ago. Strangely enough, I only just tried it, and now I am a believer.

What is Marmite. It is a yeast extract made from beer. Bascially, Marmite is a salty, very savory spread that (to me) is quite wonderful on crackers with cheese.

Marmite has that classic Umami quality which is especially present in things like soy sauce and even Parmigiano cheese. Very savory. Again, I love savory so Marmite actually appeals to me.

Marmite has been around for a hundred years or more in England. It is as British as the Queen herself. It comes in these iconic little yellow jars.

There is an Australian version of Marmite called Vegemite. It is not as good. More chemical tasting than it should be.

Why am I writing about this strange, beer yeast spread that inspires either true devotion or revulsion amongst so many people? Because I appreciate classic brands and products that really represent a culture and country. Marmite is literally as English as Big Ben and the Beatles.

In this fast moving, increasingly homogeneous and trend-driven world, there are very few authentic products left any more. Marmite is one of them.  It survives in spite of its intense strangeness…or probably because of it.

I love Marmite!

If you have seen any of the GM spots recently — especially the new ads from Chevrolet — you’ll notice that the surging American car company is basing a lot of its brand quality and credibility on the “Consumers Digest” rating.

But, how credible is that rating?

A lot of consumer advocates and auto experts ask that, too. So do I. The fact is that GM licensed the rights to the “Consumers Digest” ‘Best Buy’ for 15 of its models. Now, “Consumers Digest” claims that their ratings process is totally neutral and legitimate, and I have no proof that it is otherwise. (JD Power & Associates also licenses its ratings for cars and many other product categories. I have the same problem with the JD Power consumer rating as a major marketing message. I just think this represents companies trying to “buy” what are supposed to be unbiased quality and performance reviews.)

But, it is very clear that GM puts so much stock in the “Consumers Digest” ‘Best Buy’ rating for one main reason: It sounds a lot like the hugely respected “Consumers Reports” rating, something that consumers really do revere and definitely trust when it comes to choosing brands and products.

GM counts on the fact that people will confuse “Consumers Digest” with “Consumer Reports,” which is a non-profit media organization (run by the unbiased Consumer’s Union group) that takes no advertising in its magazines and its website. Of course, “Consumers Digest” is for-profit (nothing wrong with that), but it is not even a very respected reviewer of products — that is especially true in the automotive industry. Just ask any car guy if he puts stock in the “Consumers Digest” auto review directories. Zero.

I completely understand that marketers — particularly struggling car companies — will grasp at anything they can to promote their products and give them an edge. And, if a “Consumers Digest” ‘Best Buy’ is all GM can muster for its brands, then I understand why they are relying on that imprimatur in their advertising.

But, I still think its kind of dishonest to perpetuate this charade that GM and its major brands like Chevy are getting these quality accolades from a trusted consumer review company, when in fact they really are not. “Consumers Digest” ain’t even close to “Consumer Reports,” but GM doesn’t want you to know that!

This is just another example (see my previous post on the “Free Credit Reports” scams) of why consumers put so little faith in what most marketers say and do. We marketers are not very trusted because we are too frequently willing to play fast and loose with the truth (or at least shade the truth, which is just as bad).

And, to me, that really is a shame.

This is not the first time I have blogged about these companies that purport to provide you your credit score “free” online, but then charge you $14.95 per month unless and until you cancel the service.

Nope, that credit score is not free for most people. Yes, if you have the presence of mind to actually cancel within the 7-day window, then in theory the credit report is free. But, you just know these services make it very difficult for you to cancel.

(It’s like in the early days of online dating sites. Signing up was easy as pie. Canceling your subscription was something akin to changing your name. You had to be a world class gymnast to jump through the hoops they put in your way to cancel.)

FreeScore.com is the consumer facing site for TransUnion, one of the three big credit bureaus. FreeCreditReport.com (the one with the annoying boy band singing those catchy jingles), is the brain child of Experian, one of the other credit bureaus.

Ben Stein, that washed up, c-level actor and fake comedian, is the “face” of FreeScore. Ben should be ashamed of himself. There was a time when Stein actually wrote serious financial related commentaries that ran in legitimate newspapers like the New York Times. Now he is shilling for an anti-consumer service like FreeScore.com. How low can he go?

I don’t have a problem with the credit bureaus wanting to cash in on the information they collect on your credit history (well, I actually do, but that is another story). Yup, if they want to sell it back to you (when you can actually get it free by law), that is OK. After all, they are in business to make money. But, they should stop calling their services “free.”

The fact is that TransUnion and Experian are exploiting the fear and worry that so many consumers have about their credit, particularly in today’s economically challenged environment where so many people are unemployed and potentially facing foreclosure of their homes and worse. These business and marketing practices are the worst of their kind and should be repudiated.

But, FreeScore and FreeCreditReport.com continue to ply their shady practices in high profile advertising campaigns because that is our business culture today. I have previously discussed on this blog the tyranny of the “opt-out” model in the web business culture of today. Whether it be the sketchy privacy policies of Facebook (which claims to be your champion online), or the borderline scam web advertising that snooker unsuspecting consumers, too many companies are only too happy to pick your pocket online.

Hey, it’s legal…didn’t you read the 10 page, 7-pt. type “terms of services” that we required you to peruse before signing up? Our lawyers say we’re covered, pal! Most people never even look at these terms of service tomes and just click “yes.” The online marketers of course count on that.

No wonder the advertising and marketing industry — my chosen profession — is held in such low repute with the public at large. When consumers see scams like FreeScore.com (which are really anything but “free”) blaring at them every moment on TV, it is no wonder they are so cynical about advertising and marketing in general.

They should be. Frankly, way too much of it these days is just a downright disgrace.

OK, that is not a bad pitch if the other brands are charging extra for the data.

But, the spot goes off the rails with its final pitch line: “Experience America’s most improved customer satisfaction!”

Say what?!

Don’t know about you, but that line really stopped me in my tracks. It just sounded so funny in a world of hyperbolic commercial lines…”most improved customer service.” Dudes,  you can’t come up with anything better than that?

Talk about damning your brand with faint praise! Most improved from what?! From the worst service to now barely tolerable??

Perhaps the line is just an honest attempt to counteract any negatives out there about Sprint’s bad service (and it is my perception that they were never known for their service). It still sounds kind of lame to me.

In marketing and branding, you have to go with your strengths and positive differentiators. If “most improved” is all you got, I would forget it and just stick with the great value package pricing.

Just sayin’!

For narcissists, the world really does revolve around them. “That’s enough about me. Now let’s talk about myself.”

Sound like anyone you know? Or anyone who is constantly in the headlines? I am sure that does not describe you. Of course not!

I have always been fascinated with the psychology of narcissists and their role in business, politics and the culture overall. Just the other day, my favorite conservative columnist, David Brooks, wrote a really interesting NY Times column on narcissism. He tied it to the recent rantings and ravings of that world-class narcissist Mel Gibson.

I’m not really interested in Gibson or his latest crazy outburst (the man certainly seems to have come unglued in recent years). But, Brooks’ piece really got me thinking about narcissism and its impact on my business of marketing. A few questions emerged for me:

• Have narcissistic tendencies grown in recent years, declined (fat chance!) or stayed about the same?
• What impact has the new digital, web culture had on narcissism and the frequency of its occurrence?

The Brooks column cites a study that really puts narcissism’s growing impact in perspective for me:

“In their book, “The Narcissism Epidemic,” Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell cite data to suggest that at least since the 1970s, we have suffered from national self-esteem inflation. They cite my favorite piece of sociological data: In 1950, thousands of teenagers were asked if they considered themselves an “important person.” Twelve percent said yes. In the late 1980s, another few thousand were asked. This time, 80 percent of girls and 77 percent of boys said yes.”

Brooks goes on to suggest how this growth of narcissism could be having a broader effect on our culture (and even marketing):

“That doesn’t make them narcissists in the Gibson mold, but it does suggest that we’ve entered an era where self-branding is on the ascent and the culture of self-effacement is on the decline.”

How many books and conferences have you seen on how to create your own “personal brand?” Don’t know about you, but that self-help driven drives me batty.

And, how many stories have you read about how the Millennial generation (and even more so, the kids being raised today) have grown up in a culture where they are truly put on pedestals and are made to feel that they do no wrong (except for the occasional “time out”). In this new narcissist world view, every kid is in first place and deserves an award. There is no such thing as getting cut from a team, or coming in last place. We’re all winners today!

(When I was a kid, you either had the stuff to make the team or you didn’t…even in the pee wee leagues! It toughened you up fast and made you learn and appreciate the value of working hard to attain your goals…it was all about practice, practice, practice. If you didn’t, well you didn’t get chosen. And you didn’t get a trophy, either.)

If the majority of people in this new generation thinks they are “important people” (to quote the Brooks piece), that creates some interesting challenges for marketers today. It certainly expands the culture of narcissistic self reverence, because that is what these kids have been taught since they were little tykes.

I have not figured all of this out yet. But, it definitely has me thinking. It sure is interesting to contemplate this new era of narcissism and what it will mean for our political, media and business cultures in the years ahead.

We thought that was the agreement. You would be perfect and so would every one one of your beautiful little “perfect” products.

So Steve Jobs and Apple made their pitch today to allay concerns about antennagate. It was a classic non-apology, apology. A mea-culpa that is not really one. In name only.

Apple says they have sold a ton of iPhone 4’s and it is the most successful iPhone (or any phone) in history. And the complaints are few and returns virtually nil.

But, Mr. Jobs conceded that the phone losing strength because of the antenna and how you grip the phone is not a good thing, so Apple is now giving away free cases to all iPhone 4 owners. The so-called “Bumper” case has a street value of $29, which means Apple buys them from China for $1.50 each.

No surprises at this press event. Apple is the most powerful tech brand, perhaps in the world, and its CEO is not about to start eating crow for anyone. Why should he? The caviar is quite tasty, thank yo very much.

In other words, a lot of dropped calls happen with this “state of the art” new fourth generation iPhone.

None other than Consumer Reports publicized this big flaw in its recent review of the Apple’s new flagship phone. Because of the antenna problem, CR could not — and would not — give the new phone its recommendation. (Interestingly enough, CR apparently did give the new Apple phone its highest rating of any other smart phones it reviewed, which says nothing good about the other products evaluated by CR!)

Now, on the eve of a press conference that Apple has called for tomorrow, Friday, July 16, the Wall Street Journal today comes out with a pretty damning story. Apparently, as had been reported and speculated on some blogs, Apple knew about the antenna glitch for a year, and still decided to ship the defective iPhone because the all powerful CEO Steve Jobs still thought it was fine. I guess Jobs didn’t want a little glitch to screw up his party.

The news is that Jobs overruled his engineers who pointed out the flaw a long time ago. The WSJ story also claims that Jobs wanted to get the phone out so quickly that he bypassed the usual testing time.

All horrible ideas on Jobs’ part. Of course, there is no one at that company who can counterbalance, no less counteract or overrule, Saint Steve. Jobs’ iron fist control over everything at Apple (product development, marketing, news, PR, etc.) is well known. But, the negative ramifications of his intense micromanagement were not really fully understood or appreciated until now. Today they are writ large.

I am sure Apple will try to spin this major problem at its press conference tomorrow by saying the antenna problem is minor, and people just need to adjust how they hold the handset. Or they might offer some kind of lame carrying case that somewhat ameliorates the problem.

That ain’t gonna work, Steve!

The Journal’s piece made clear that Apple is not doing a recall of the defective phone.

Would you buy one? I certainly would not.

I guess Apple and Steve Jobs are not perfect after all. It will be interesting to see if they learn anything from this massive mistake. I frankly doubt it.